99 problems

today was my third eight hour shift in a row, which was a little odd because we have about twenty employees at work (so our schedules tend to be scattered and short). but i'm not complaining. even though some things about my job are a little irritating (rude customers, parking half a mile uphill, rude customers, rude customers), there are always so many ways work upstages these minor bothers. today perfectly exemplified such ways:

• albert einstein's stark lookalike came into work, and i immediately lost my shit and ran to the back in an attempt to conceal my laughter
• over $50 in tips for a job from which i really shouldn't be receiving many tips at all. i know this one sounds so shallow, but you and i both know that money is vital
• moreover: the fact that apparently everyone in laguna beach decided to get tipsy tonight and subsequently go for gelato...thanks for tipping fives, tens, fifteens for a cup that costs $3.50, you guys!
• one happy couple came in with a cup of guinness and shared it with my and a coworker. yumma

by means of alternating my hours between work and laziness, i've mostly been avoiding a crucial decision regarding this fall. my options are almost all equal in terms of pros/cons, which doesn't help with decision-making. of course, i do realize that i'm so lucky and blessed to even have such options in the first place, but the very fact that there are multiple options renders me pretty anxious (knowing me, i'm going to make a decision, and then i'll try to make the most of it but the second something goes wrong i'm going to think what if i chose something else ahhh) it's so ridiculous and cliche and unnecessary! but i love people here, there, and there, i love programs here, there, and there, etc. 

so concludes my mini rant.

at the very least, i'm glad i've learned to write with (some sort of) focus again. (see, it's ironic and a little bit hilarious because that statement in and of itself was an utter non sequitur).

updates:

• i saw beach house perform live, and they were phenomenal 
• four great days in berkeley = four weeks of super-introverted recovery time spent in bed with netflix, tumblr, and various social networking sites. and tom hiddleston interviews
• breakfast at tiffany's ost on vinyl obtained, finally (thanks michelle!)
• sometime soon, but not until after i get my shit together, i want to organize a cheap little ebay store to sell many, many clothes/accessories of mine
• during a slow shift at work, i recently discovered that orange sorbet (the one that no one likes) + italian cream = orange 50/50. yumma

"Why are you sad?”
“Because you speak to me in words, and I look at you with feelings."

ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe

reality

ego tripping at the gates of hell

"I can’t explain what I mean. And even if I could, I’m not sure I’d feel like it."

 The Catcher in the Rye

i feel a static hollowness in my mind. it's either that or an inexplicable aversion towards arranging my thoughts into a comprehensible, organized language (which, by the way, i've lately found nearly impossible to do, so i end up forfeiting the attempt as a whole - it's parallel to prematurely giving up and not trying whatsoever upon sight of a stack of papers/books/work due tomorrow in class).

i've been filling this void with trivial things like cheap clothes from cheap places, poor-quality camera phone photos, pictures of instagram's past, and other excruciatingly random subjects - anything that i can write about that doesn't really involve thinking or, much less, my thoughts. thus began the era of poorly-written, poorly-formatted, and otherwise feebleminded blog posts.

i find myself dissatisfied with most aspects of my life, which i would be more concerned about if all my apprehension wasn't sucked in the domain of the immediate future (including, most predominantly, higher education).

     the things that used to comfort me
     don't comfort me
     not anymore


moments when words that emanate from regina spektor's lips are the only things in the world that make sense. how could it be.

sullen wake

last night i
dreamt of cigarettes
and the color black

summer vibes

currently playing: ten-twenty-ten, the generationals.
for the past couple of weeks, i've been nothing but busy. amid a packed work schedule (prom season = high school grads cover all the shifts!) and a couple finals, i ensured that in every free moment i'd see my favorite people.

day two of meandering about the ucla area led to a quiet discovery: westwood farmer's market!

a recently acquired favorite of thousand oaks: the natural cafe

whole wheat pita, warmed :) with hummus, carrots, and sprouts.

too good.

old town salad (the best salad i've ever eaten, camera phone quality does zero justice); feta, carrots, tomatoes, avocado, brown rice, field greens, and a lemon herb dressing. 

due to my lack of a conventional academic agenda (and, in part, because of my work schedule i suppose), i find it quite hard to believe that, for all intents and purposes, it is summertime. i've got a lot of planning to do this summer, which entails a lot of major decisions (what to do in the fall?!) that i'll have to make much too soon. regardless if i return to puget sound or not, i'm entirely glad that the fact that it's summer means that i can reunite with my old floormates and friends.