no. 92

i'm usually not a fat sucker for words on love, as they tend to be all too similar/cliched/obnoxious/hollow/empty/fucked up/obnoxious/obnoxious, but i found this one to be quite universal, for lack of a better description. sometimes i worry about losing touch with friends and sometimes i have little pouts of stress induced by fear of breaking away from something i love (whether it be english, the entertainment industry, etc.). leave it to steinbeck for some alleviation!
(shout out to my buddy patrick @ thepatformist for posting it)

"Don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens—The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away." isn't that just nice? read the whole letter, written to his son, here.

284. pretending
285. beach house, and lots of it
286. blogging in study areas
287. banana chips and overly sweetened tea for dinner (fuck yeah health?)
288. parking far away, giving ample time and room for a leisurely stroll
289. listening to the beatles in the morning (since i was little, i convinced myself that, in order to have a really exceptional day, you must start the day by listening to the fab four)
290. dreaming of frozen yogurt

no. 91

it's a strange paradigm.

no. 90

i got a clockwork orange for $2 and i lost my water bottle (again) but replaced it (again). i stalked too many people and experienced beautiful things, so many beautiful things. is that not the best sensation? to be overwhelmed by beauty?

hm. i had a very collegiate st. pat's day - from an irish car bomb, to making yummy drinks for people i don't know, to imbibing in whatever the fuck is visible. i also gave a toast to many things (happiness, washington, mt. rainier, and, apparently at one point, eyes). and love was eminent and free and vast and wide. i like that.

270. drinking water "as if it's going out of style"
271. running (but i'm also very fond of walking)
272. good times. i love good times. fuck yeah for good times. fuck yeah for saying "fuck yeah" way too many times. cheers to our youth
273. the feeling of paying for my own tuition (granted it's for a junior college.. but being able to put my skinny little paycheck to something productive makes me smile a little)
274. i am thankful for my clinical depression. it is familiar, it is real, it is comforting.
275. while on the subject, i love my psychiatrist's voice. i also appreciate his diction (for example: "are you at liberty to speak?" holy fuck nothing can make me feel more human)
276. jenga blocks
277. tofu-edamame nuggets
278. garlic. putting garlic on everything.
279. the renowned nbc show 'community'
280. fucking deja vu. that shit cray
281. the stream of consciousness that i've manifested by drawing/writing/scribbling/sketching into my racially diverse group of notebooks
282. gop jokes
283. lots of macarons

no. 89

off
the
deep
end


so i miss the classroom and books and scribbling all over the pages and writing only in ink and never using white out and things. i miss creating a bloody massacre of graffiti by thoroughly fucking up the appearance of my peers' essays and papers with a red pen. i miss my calc class that quickly converted into a very verbal, very vehement angry mob (with metaphorical pitchforks and the works) upon hearing the faux pas "irregardless" come out of amanda gibson's mouth. i also miss dorm life. but mostly, i just miss the learning in a classroom.

working hasn't been time consuming enough and minimum wage can't satiate all my superficial desires, so i'm rereading books i haven't read since sophomore year of high school (namely, lolita and the picture of dorian gray). i'll start reading more short stories this week (gilman, faulkner) cause they're free :D

ummmm.. this was a nice weekend and right now it's balls hot (why) and thoughts of food in the pantry are keeping me sane.

261. greek yogurt + dried fruit
262. peeling the skin off my lips is a disgusting habit. yum
263. de profundis
264. chai anything chai
265. pesto anything pesto
266. my bed holy cannoli what would i do without my bed
267. pretty bookends
268. pretty soap dishes
269. lavender, mint, etc.

no. 88

the illusion of being a part of something is nice, but coming home to no school, no club, no group, no network is a little disenchanting. thankfully it makes me so grateful for there mere existence of a nearby junior college to attend soon enough. so i can't wait for my classes to begin. i can't wait to learn formally in a classroom again. i can't wait for books and for the post-studying feeling of wholeness. i am thoroughly excited and quite ready.

241. empty shampoo/conditioner/body wash/etc bottles in the shower that provide an excuse to try a different things
242. life when i'm not being angsty
243. sangak
244. and hummus. lots and lots of hummus
245. also pita
246. and naan
247. all sorts of carbohydrates!
248. looking at things
249. globes
250. bookends
251. vladimir nabokov
252. scarves
253. the weather. there is always something to be said about the weather
254. walking around and hiking. walking around in the morning in a city when there aren't many people out
255. bagels + coffee
256. big ideas
257. drugstores and markets
258. talking about washington with people from washington
259. when everything suddenly feels weird momentarily
260. good voices and good words

no. 87

jabba the hutt's first day of work

say hello to the new entry-level technical writer at cimplebox, inc. cool

225. costa mesa, ca (one of the better spots in orange county)
226. endorphins
227. sore muscles
228. shoes (for a while i was really close-minded towards shoes and i would only be satisfied with 2-4 staple shoes.. this new mindset (open to jeffrey campbell, free people, and other boutiques that will assault your wallet) is unhealthy. lucky for my bank account i haven't acted on any impulses so far, but online window shopping might get the best of me)
229. james vincent mcmorrow (in case all the bon iver you know is overplayed/old)
230. tissues
231. being lost in reverie
232. aspirations
233. the existence of beautiful things
234. being psycho, bipolar, among similarly grand things
235. warm flannel
236. mappin shit out
237. being around college campuses (ever since i was creepin in the motherfuckin womb, it's always been comforting)
238. nice people
239. wearing a blazer on my first day of work even though i work at home today
240. organic shit

no. 86

RUDE AWAKENING
bleh.


216. the showtime series 'weeds'
217. "i wish i could throw off the thoughts which poison my happiness, but i kind of pleasure in indulging them." for eighteen years and eighteen years too many. i love you chopin, but doing > thinking (although this blog contradicts that i guess)
218. 2009 gray volkswagen rabbit
219. garlic
220. and basically any spice/seasoning
221. and cheese
222. and the smell of onions cooking
223. calvin and hobbes (since '93 bitches!)
224. shel silverstein