99 problems

today was my third eight hour shift in a row, which was a little odd because we have about twenty employees at work (so our schedules tend to be scattered and short). but i'm not complaining. even though some things about my job are a little irritating (rude customers, parking half a mile uphill, rude customers, rude customers), there are always so many ways work upstages these minor bothers. today perfectly exemplified such ways:

• albert einstein's stark lookalike came into work, and i immediately lost my shit and ran to the back in an attempt to conceal my laughter
• over $50 in tips for a job from which i really shouldn't be receiving many tips at all. i know this one sounds so shallow, but you and i both know that money is vital
• moreover: the fact that apparently everyone in laguna beach decided to get tipsy tonight and subsequently go for gelato...thanks for tipping fives, tens, fifteens for a cup that costs $3.50, you guys!
• one happy couple came in with a cup of guinness and shared it with my and a coworker. yumma

by means of alternating my hours between work and laziness, i've mostly been avoiding a crucial decision regarding this fall. my options are almost all equal in terms of pros/cons, which doesn't help with decision-making. of course, i do realize that i'm so lucky and blessed to even have such options in the first place, but the very fact that there are multiple options renders me pretty anxious (knowing me, i'm going to make a decision, and then i'll try to make the most of it but the second something goes wrong i'm going to think what if i chose something else ahhh) it's so ridiculous and cliche and unnecessary! but i love people here, there, and there, i love programs here, there, and there, etc. 

so concludes my mini rant.

at the very least, i'm glad i've learned to write with (some sort of) focus again. (see, it's ironic and a little bit hilarious because that statement in and of itself was an utter non sequitur).

updates:

• i saw beach house perform live, and they were phenomenal 
• four great days in berkeley = four weeks of super-introverted recovery time spent in bed with netflix, tumblr, and various social networking sites. and tom hiddleston interviews
• breakfast at tiffany's ost on vinyl obtained, finally (thanks michelle!)
• sometime soon, but not until after i get my shit together, i want to organize a cheap little ebay store to sell many, many clothes/accessories of mine
• during a slow shift at work, i recently discovered that orange sorbet (the one that no one likes) + italian cream = orange 50/50. yumma

"Why are you sad?”
“Because you speak to me in words, and I look at you with feelings."

ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe

reality

ego tripping at the gates of hell

"I can’t explain what I mean. And even if I could, I’m not sure I’d feel like it."

 The Catcher in the Rye

i feel a static hollowness in my mind. it's either that or an inexplicable aversion towards arranging my thoughts into a comprehensible, organized language (which, by the way, i've lately found nearly impossible to do, so i end up forfeiting the attempt as a whole - it's parallel to prematurely giving up and not trying whatsoever upon sight of a stack of papers/books/work due tomorrow in class).

i've been filling this void with trivial things like cheap clothes from cheap places, poor-quality camera phone photos, pictures of instagram's past, and other excruciatingly random subjects - anything that i can write about that doesn't really involve thinking or, much less, my thoughts. thus began the era of poorly-written, poorly-formatted, and otherwise feebleminded blog posts.

i find myself dissatisfied with most aspects of my life, which i would be more concerned about if all my apprehension wasn't sucked in the domain of the immediate future (including, most predominantly, higher education).

     the things that used to comfort me
     don't comfort me
     not anymore


moments when words that emanate from regina spektor's lips are the only things in the world that make sense. how could it be.

sullen wake

last night i
dreamt of cigarettes
and the color black

summer vibes

currently playing: ten-twenty-ten, the generationals.
for the past couple of weeks, i've been nothing but busy. amid a packed work schedule (prom season = high school grads cover all the shifts!) and a couple finals, i ensured that in every free moment i'd see my favorite people.

day two of meandering about the ucla area led to a quiet discovery: westwood farmer's market!

a recently acquired favorite of thousand oaks: the natural cafe

whole wheat pita, warmed :) with hummus, carrots, and sprouts.

too good.

old town salad (the best salad i've ever eaten, camera phone quality does zero justice); feta, carrots, tomatoes, avocado, brown rice, field greens, and a lemon herb dressing. 

due to my lack of a conventional academic agenda (and, in part, because of my work schedule i suppose), i find it quite hard to believe that, for all intents and purposes, it is summertime. i've got a lot of planning to do this summer, which entails a lot of major decisions (what to do in the fall?!) that i'll have to make much too soon. regardless if i return to puget sound or not, i'm entirely glad that the fact that it's summer means that i can reunite with my old floormates and friends.

as of late

too many lovely people

the dubious connoisseur

being that it was a rather dim monday, work was a little slow.
..
...
..
...
..
so began my expedition into the domain of desserts!

mini waffle cone with lemon and strawberry sorbet

mango sorbet + panna cotta = mango lassi! naturally, i immediately disclosed my handiwork to my indian pals. 

during slow shifts, we make innumerable amounts of waffle cones that make all of peppertree lane smell deeelish!

flavor of the day: tiramisu! for fun, henry often makes and beautifies mini cones and gelato, which gives an extra 'oomf' to the entire showcase.

the good thing about working at a gelato shop: seemingly limitless free gelato.
the bad thing about working at a gelato shop: seemingly limitless free gelato.

non sequiturs:
my last days of classes are rapidly approaching. it's a pretty bittersweet feeling, but i'm excited for the summer! and the black keys & arctic monkeys and just the bay area in general this weekend!

eons far from the sun?

it's almost summer! not that the weather is any indication of that...today's a little gloomy out, but i'm absolutely fine with that since it's the most versatile of weathers (cardigan and shorts come together on days like this). plus, the mellow weather is perfect for hiking or jogging the beach trail!

anyway, today i moseyed down to the salvation army and was delighted to see this sign out front:

i have an extremely ominous-looking shadow 

 yayayay! then this happened:

wooden bowls, $1.49 each

straw bag, $3.95. usually i don't pay particular attention to brand names when it comes to thrifting, but this bag had a distinct "gap" label, so i know it'll last a while 

$1 for a shawl

the shawl also acts as a skirt! or the skirt acts as a shawl, whichever you please.

since i've been obsessing over "mad men" lately, i had to get this $6 dress. the neckline reminded me of sally draper, plus the dress is a very light taupe color (again, sorry for the photo quality) and it's clean, fresh, and light feel would be perfect for hot summer valley days when i have to go to the office in canoga park. 

this outfit kind of makes me feel like i'm four years old again, and i'm pretty sure i had an very similar if not almost exact outfit when i was that age, but regardless, i thought the light mint (PICTURE QUALITY WHY) green top ($1) and floral shorts ($4) were so perfect for the summertime!

so anyway, i purchased some more additions to my quickly growing summer closet, which includes some of these: 

excuse my half-closed eyes...let's focus on the hat i got recently from forever 21 instead! i didn't get it today, i actually bought it online a while ago, but while i'm posting these summery clothes i thought i might as well show it off

a closer look at the hat. i love the polka dots!

$15 dress + $3 belt from h&m. again, not from today (actually from my most recent LA weekend) but it fits the theme

so there it is! clothes clothes clothes. it's a bit of a bummer that i have a uniform for my main job at GP, where i spend most of my time these days, but i guess that makes all the other occasions seem that much more special. speaking of work, i've got the closing shift tonight and i anticipate a lot of down time (what with this gloomy weather) to make pretty-looking edible things.

currently playing: i wanna go by summer heart.

hope y'all beat dem monday blues!

saison du printemps

it's sunday night.
i'm feeling restless.
what i would really love more than anything right now is a mac n cheese + mex hot choc pie from the pie hole...but i'll opt for some other small delights (both edible and not) that exhibit the aura of spring.

for eats:

carrots and edamame! 

 for fun:

my aggregate supply of nail polishes

i bought these on sale for $3 each at little tokyo's american apparel...i was instantly besotted with the salmon pink and the darker magenta! both are perfect for spring/summer; the salmon would be beautiful against a light outfit or beach day wear, and the magenta would look awesome with some night-out apparel for the evenings. 

the day i received my first paycheck from gelato paradiso (GP) coincided with my weekend in LA. krista and i went to the americana and downtown/little tokyo...which resulted in one magnificent example of cross-cancellation. throughout my capitalistic escapades, my thought process was pretty flawed (constant justifications including "it could be more expensive" and "$15 for an new arrival h&m dress is so cheap!"), and naturally, the receipts added up.

time to start saving, ashley...to buy BETTER things! like a rebel (to replace my stolen canon) or to, i don't know, pay for fall 2012 tuition?

i need to reorganize my priorities.

also, i apologize for the shoddy photo quality; i'm using my phone until i upgrade my poorly-functioning camera.

JUST KIDDING!

despite my preference for wordpress's sleeker, cleaner, and ultimately more aesthetically pleasing interface, i've resorted to old-fashioned (did i speak too soon?) google blogger...it's a little more convenient (just since i'm so accustomed to it) and far more simplistic. i might update the wordpress account every so often if i'm feeling a lil high 'n mighty, but until such delusions of sophistication devour me whole, i'll be sticking to good ol' blogspot.

pictures of late and subsequent commentary:

usc beaux arts ball with krista and her roommates (i am utterly infatuated with these ladies)

running around studios in the archie dept.

the theme for beaux arts this year was mondrian, so sick ass decorations were clearly in order

waffle bowl success: various sorbets, berries, and chocolate drizzle, concocted by the magnificent henry.

fucking delicious brioche french toast made for a fantastic post-beaux arts sunday morning brunch

my line of work

updates:

• i got a second job! it's pretty fun...the shop is nestled in a cute little brick alley. being that it's located in laguna beach, we get a pretty wide variety of customers (tourists, with whom i LOVE striking up conversation, soccer moms and all of their 485 children, elderly women who maintain that the shop "smells like woodstock"). essentially, i get paid to scoop gelato, make pretty lil desserts when i'm bored, and/or babysit a gelato shop (during slow shifts). 
• bullet points, i've discovered, are both adorable and nifty, and for that reason (evident in the wordpress site) i'll be utilizing them regularly.
• re-discovering the joys of LA, time and time again

happy sunday! xoxo

no. 93

http://ossamea.wordpress.com/
http://ossamea.wordpress.com/
http://ossamea.wordpress.com/
http://ossamea.wordpress.com/
http://ossamea.wordpress.com/
http://ossamea.tumblr.com/
http://ossamea.tumblr.com/
http://ossamea.tumblr.com/

no. 92

i'm usually not a fat sucker for words on love, as they tend to be all too similar/cliched/obnoxious/hollow/empty/fucked up/obnoxious/obnoxious, but i found this one to be quite universal, for lack of a better description. sometimes i worry about losing touch with friends and sometimes i have little pouts of stress induced by fear of breaking away from something i love (whether it be english, the entertainment industry, etc.). leave it to steinbeck for some alleviation!
(shout out to my buddy patrick @ thepatformist for posting it)

"Don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens—The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away." isn't that just nice? read the whole letter, written to his son, here.

284. pretending
285. beach house, and lots of it
286. blogging in study areas
287. banana chips and overly sweetened tea for dinner (fuck yeah health?)
288. parking far away, giving ample time and room for a leisurely stroll
289. listening to the beatles in the morning (since i was little, i convinced myself that, in order to have a really exceptional day, you must start the day by listening to the fab four)
290. dreaming of frozen yogurt

no. 91

it's a strange paradigm.

no. 90

i got a clockwork orange for $2 and i lost my water bottle (again) but replaced it (again). i stalked too many people and experienced beautiful things, so many beautiful things. is that not the best sensation? to be overwhelmed by beauty?

hm. i had a very collegiate st. pat's day - from an irish car bomb, to making yummy drinks for people i don't know, to imbibing in whatever the fuck is visible. i also gave a toast to many things (happiness, washington, mt. rainier, and, apparently at one point, eyes). and love was eminent and free and vast and wide. i like that.

270. drinking water "as if it's going out of style"
271. running (but i'm also very fond of walking)
272. good times. i love good times. fuck yeah for good times. fuck yeah for saying "fuck yeah" way too many times. cheers to our youth
273. the feeling of paying for my own tuition (granted it's for a junior college.. but being able to put my skinny little paycheck to something productive makes me smile a little)
274. i am thankful for my clinical depression. it is familiar, it is real, it is comforting.
275. while on the subject, i love my psychiatrist's voice. i also appreciate his diction (for example: "are you at liberty to speak?" holy fuck nothing can make me feel more human)
276. jenga blocks
277. tofu-edamame nuggets
278. garlic. putting garlic on everything.
279. the renowned nbc show 'community'
280. fucking deja vu. that shit cray
281. the stream of consciousness that i've manifested by drawing/writing/scribbling/sketching into my racially diverse group of notebooks
282. gop jokes
283. lots of macarons

no. 89

off
the
deep
end


so i miss the classroom and books and scribbling all over the pages and writing only in ink and never using white out and things. i miss creating a bloody massacre of graffiti by thoroughly fucking up the appearance of my peers' essays and papers with a red pen. i miss my calc class that quickly converted into a very verbal, very vehement angry mob (with metaphorical pitchforks and the works) upon hearing the faux pas "irregardless" come out of amanda gibson's mouth. i also miss dorm life. but mostly, i just miss the learning in a classroom.

working hasn't been time consuming enough and minimum wage can't satiate all my superficial desires, so i'm rereading books i haven't read since sophomore year of high school (namely, lolita and the picture of dorian gray). i'll start reading more short stories this week (gilman, faulkner) cause they're free :D

ummmm.. this was a nice weekend and right now it's balls hot (why) and thoughts of food in the pantry are keeping me sane.

261. greek yogurt + dried fruit
262. peeling the skin off my lips is a disgusting habit. yum
263. de profundis
264. chai anything chai
265. pesto anything pesto
266. my bed holy cannoli what would i do without my bed
267. pretty bookends
268. pretty soap dishes
269. lavender, mint, etc.

no. 88

the illusion of being a part of something is nice, but coming home to no school, no club, no group, no network is a little disenchanting. thankfully it makes me so grateful for there mere existence of a nearby junior college to attend soon enough. so i can't wait for my classes to begin. i can't wait to learn formally in a classroom again. i can't wait for books and for the post-studying feeling of wholeness. i am thoroughly excited and quite ready.

241. empty shampoo/conditioner/body wash/etc bottles in the shower that provide an excuse to try a different things
242. life when i'm not being angsty
243. sangak
244. and hummus. lots and lots of hummus
245. also pita
246. and naan
247. all sorts of carbohydrates!
248. looking at things
249. globes
250. bookends
251. vladimir nabokov
252. scarves
253. the weather. there is always something to be said about the weather
254. walking around and hiking. walking around in the morning in a city when there aren't many people out
255. bagels + coffee
256. big ideas
257. drugstores and markets
258. talking about washington with people from washington
259. when everything suddenly feels weird momentarily
260. good voices and good words

no. 87

jabba the hutt's first day of work

say hello to the new entry-level technical writer at cimplebox, inc. cool

225. costa mesa, ca (one of the better spots in orange county)
226. endorphins
227. sore muscles
228. shoes (for a while i was really close-minded towards shoes and i would only be satisfied with 2-4 staple shoes.. this new mindset (open to jeffrey campbell, free people, and other boutiques that will assault your wallet) is unhealthy. lucky for my bank account i haven't acted on any impulses so far, but online window shopping might get the best of me)
229. james vincent mcmorrow (in case all the bon iver you know is overplayed/old)
230. tissues
231. being lost in reverie
232. aspirations
233. the existence of beautiful things
234. being psycho, bipolar, among similarly grand things
235. warm flannel
236. mappin shit out
237. being around college campuses (ever since i was creepin in the motherfuckin womb, it's always been comforting)
238. nice people
239. wearing a blazer on my first day of work even though i work at home today
240. organic shit

no. 86

RUDE AWAKENING
bleh.


216. the showtime series 'weeds'
217. "i wish i could throw off the thoughts which poison my happiness, but i kind of pleasure in indulging them." for eighteen years and eighteen years too many. i love you chopin, but doing > thinking (although this blog contradicts that i guess)
218. 2009 gray volkswagen rabbit
219. garlic
220. and basically any spice/seasoning
221. and cheese
222. and the smell of onions cooking
223. calvin and hobbes (since '93 bitches!)
224. shel silverstein