7/30, no. 7

breakfast: peach non-fat chobani yogurt with cheerios

I think I'm terrified of the idea of difficulty. the notion of cut-throat competition and countless sleepless nights is the biggest hindrance stopping me from pursuing an education in med school. what I'm looking for is support and intrinsic motivation. I want to spend countless sleepless nights actively researching different perspectives and different approaches to the neurochemical basis of ALS, Alzheimer's disease, and various other disorders.

unfortunately, this is reality. and seeing as how it's seemingly impossible for one to live out their dreams completely and perfectly, it becomes quite frequent and normal for many of us to change our passions, alter our views, and shape our habits to land an offshoot of our dream and call ourselves lucky. I guess I've motivated myself to be satisfied with this sort of life. I just need to start planning, but that involves the future, a word that nowadays seems to carry a negative connotation propelling the idea of difficulty, likely failure, stress, and dead ends.