7/30, no. 8

I munch, I wish, I adore and I love. I am in love with a boy who is so much better than what people see upon an initial glance. He's Captain America before the brawn - and I love it because he is everything I want to see. Even after over five months, just the sight of him makes my heart flutter and nothing can even compare to the feeling of being held in his arms. He is by far one of the kindest, humblest, most generous and most understanding people I've ever had the luck to know. I think that's what attracted me to him in the first place - I'm pretty eccentric and my thoughts always seem to be so scattered, but he's always been so patient and understanding with me. I love that. He's one of those people who just get me, no questions asked. I will never meet nor know anyone like him. He's beautiful and I love him.

But I don't know, I think love - especially a first one like this - is something that can really drive you crazy. One moody "goodbye" will send a thousand different thoughts racing through your head, causing another night without sleep. The thought of ending the relationship will terrify you and let you sleep - but not without endless tears first. The empathy, the pain of feeling their pain, the heartbreak caused by the knowledge of the fear, uncertainty, and immense self-doubt that you know they're going through - all while attempting to put up a happy face on the outside. Of course, this isn't really a typical relationship (I don't think at least), so it's not like these are symptoms involved with every girl and boy. It's still scary, heart-wrenching, and draining at many times.

And yet I still maintain that all the tears, pain, uncertainty, anxiety, apprehension are worth it. It's worth getting butterflies in your stomach by just looking at him, it's worth the fact that everything in the world is perfect within just one hug, it's worth everything. And I take back everything - I'd take all the car talk, technology arguments, and little annoyances just to have him longer. I'd take it all back.