no. 88

the illusion of being a part of something is nice, but coming home to no school, no club, no group, no network is a little disenchanting. thankfully it makes me so grateful for there mere existence of a nearby junior college to attend soon enough. so i can't wait for my classes to begin. i can't wait to learn formally in a classroom again. i can't wait for books and for the post-studying feeling of wholeness. i am thoroughly excited and quite ready.

241. empty shampoo/conditioner/body wash/etc bottles in the shower that provide an excuse to try a different things
242. life when i'm not being angsty
243. sangak
244. and hummus. lots and lots of hummus
245. also pita
246. and naan
247. all sorts of carbohydrates!
248. looking at things
249. globes
250. bookends
251. vladimir nabokov
252. scarves
253. the weather. there is always something to be said about the weather
254. walking around and hiking. walking around in the morning in a city when there aren't many people out
255. bagels + coffee
256. big ideas
257. drugstores and markets
258. talking about washington with people from washington
259. when everything suddenly feels weird momentarily
260. good voices and good words

no. 87

jabba the hutt's first day of work

say hello to the new entry-level technical writer at cimplebox, inc. cool

225. costa mesa, ca (one of the better spots in orange county)
226. endorphins
227. sore muscles
228. shoes (for a while i was really close-minded towards shoes and i would only be satisfied with 2-4 staple shoes.. this new mindset (open to jeffrey campbell, free people, and other boutiques that will assault your wallet) is unhealthy. lucky for my bank account i haven't acted on any impulses so far, but online window shopping might get the best of me)
229. james vincent mcmorrow (in case all the bon iver you know is overplayed/old)
230. tissues
231. being lost in reverie
232. aspirations
233. the existence of beautiful things
234. being psycho, bipolar, among similarly grand things
235. warm flannel
236. mappin shit out
237. being around college campuses (ever since i was creepin in the motherfuckin womb, it's always been comforting)
238. nice people
239. wearing a blazer on my first day of work even though i work at home today
240. organic shit

no. 86

RUDE AWAKENING
bleh.


216. the showtime series 'weeds'
217. "i wish i could throw off the thoughts which poison my happiness, but i kind of pleasure in indulging them." for eighteen years and eighteen years too many. i love you chopin, but doing > thinking (although this blog contradicts that i guess)
218. 2009 gray volkswagen rabbit
219. garlic
220. and basically any spice/seasoning
221. and cheese
222. and the smell of onions cooking
223. calvin and hobbes (since '93 bitches!)
224. shel silverstein

no. 85

establishing the parameters that define creativity as "making something out of nothing," (distinguished/esteemed) vegetarian chefs must be among the more inventive and innovative group, since meats are excluded from the kitchen. i'm not saying i'm some gourmet cook (nothing could be further from the truth), but cooking food the vegetarian way can be really experimental, fun, and even a bit unconventional (more so than tossing leftover meat in the microwave at least).

side note: never put fries and a blueberry muffin in the same box, unless you want to eat blueberry-flavored french fries the next day.

208. much to my dismay, we had finished all the hummus and thus there was a little hole in the heart of the refrigerator. then this happened: mayonnaise + sriracha = spicy mayo. awesome
209. falafel + latke + spicy mayo + lettuce + carrots + onions + peppers
210. a glass of cold water (so nice after drinking gallons of water via my camelbak for so long)
211. being awoken by the sun and lazying about in bed snuggled up in pink sheets and momentarily feeling like kirsten dunst in marie antoinette 
212. the practicality of twitter in los angeles, ca
213. the comforting small stack of books next to my bed (the awakening, lullaby, dawn, de profundis, and a monet collection). and then turning around to see the massive orgasm of hundreds of other books
214. looking at baby pictures. i was jabba the hutt
215. the number 5 is so cheesy

no. 84

the facts were these: usc is still awesome/dirty/hilarious, and i'm still a baby. when i was in bacaro, it suddenly dawned on me (around one in the am) that it was thursday night, and i realized, "oh my god there are so many students here and it's a school night and everyone is drunk..what?!" and similar thoughts. so there we go.

on a better note, i imbibed considerably and didn't get a hangover. fuck yeah.

192. feeling like a potentially badass driver after watching the fast & the furious, and setting out to live up to that standard.. in a prius. so i feel badass for going 82 on the freeway. fuckers
193. getting fancy with grilled cheese! (gouda, brie, etc. and guacamole, tapatio, sriracha, etc.)
194. circadian rhythms that make you think "the hell?"
195. bbc radio one edits
196. doritos
197. boston, massachusetts (spring break??!?!?? grad school?!!?)
198. looking for a second job (fuck yeah)
199. little boots
200. the good feeling that surfaces when you hit a large even number
201. volkswagen (fuck yeah die glaserne manufaktur)
202. mocha cheesecake (yes, it is as good as it sounds)
203. baking (i'm getting back into it!)
204. 4 8 15 16 23 42
205. gotye is the new adele
206. pronouncing gotye's name
207. dessert

no. 83

i was in lake forest to get my nails done at a cheap asian salon where i felt painfully awkward the entire time, and since i was in the area i went to get indian food at spice india (i've only been once before with my friend during senior year). i was the only one in the small restaurant besides one little indian man (who was both the chef and waiter) and a very, very indian woman sitting in the corner staring at me the entire time i was there. the food was fucking delicious and although i briefly regretted eating indian food before going to berkeley, i know i'll be craving it again early next week (if not tomorrow or this weekend). i also got free dessert (rice pudding) (they didn't offer this last time), and when i got home i was delighted to see that the guy had thrown in an entire extra order of garlic naan in the box when he was packaging my leftovers to-go. awesome.

181. is the course number of the second to worst class last semester (math 181 aka calc 1.5)
182. napping so i don't fall asleep while driving
183. static on the radio (within reason)
184. traffic (it's a new take on sort-of people-watching to me)
185. peripherals (so i could sort-of also stare back as the indian woman stared at me)
186. thursdays
187. plans! ideas! san francisco! ideas! ideas! plans! ideas!
188. my insanely modestly-dressed mother who will make my little brother carry a couch downstairs "just to see how it will look"
189. mutter paneer with creamy (as opposed to watery) sauce + garlic naan (hit da spot)
190. the idea of vegetarianism. hell yeah
191. not feeling obliged to talk

no. 82

i never realized how black my hair is until today. today's breakfast of champions? mini tacos from trader joe's and genmaicha. currently experimenting with lipstick (mhm) and listening to this song, which is a pretty accurate representation of puget sound life (besides the tacos - i'd have quinoa with apricot instead). i miss vegan food from the sub (dining hall). but trader joe's is much better.

tonight i'm going to usc (frequenting the dirtiest place in california is enjoyable) for this. 


the weather is warm today and the weeks feel long. life is too long to not sing gotye in an obnoxiously high-pitched voice i guess.

163. i think i got a job here (but i'm not sure.. apparently employers' responses are as cryptic as signals/conversations with crushes)
164. there has been a jar of betty crocker's whipped butter cream frosting sitting on my desk since december. it is full of possibilities
165. my hair is getting so long it's so weird. i can't wait to chop that shit off #fuckyeah
166. talking about sex
167. german writing utensils (stabilo, faber-castell)
168. pooping/defecating/excreting feces/having bowel movements/relieving oneself (thank god for it seriously.. that shit is cathartic as fuck)
169. the tsunami aftermath of books, papers, photos, and envelopes on my floor
170. partha dasgupta's economics: a very short introduction. the cover looks more like an architecture book
171. food network's chopped and the fact that it keeps me scrunched up on the couch biting my nails and getting nervous for the contestants (as does antm, as does project runway, etc.. at least it's not a crazy japanese game show)
172. japanese food (on that note)
173. chinese food
174. korean food
175. persian food
176. american food (burger + fries + coke ooommmmmggggggggg)
177. italian food
178. vegan/vegetarian food
179. all kinds of food (pretty much) (omg guyz look h0w diverse n cultural i am lol)
180. tea and coffee

no. 81

with no cash and currently no tangible credit/debit card on me, i give myself two options:
     1) drive around orange county looking for trails to hike/run (after sending in more apps/etc.)
     2) scrounge around the pockets of pants in the laundry room for some change to get junk food

i'm trying to find things to do (classes/clubs/JOBS!!!) before march rolls around (once mid-march hits, it's going to be busy as fuck)

132. this. how beautiful it is
133. trying to make sense out of certain android apps
134. jeopardy (dominating at the novels category last night was particularly enjoyable)
135. wheel of fortune (also vanna white's yarn collection)
136. thai food (the last meal of my last relationship but i forgot about that when i last ate thai)
137. milk and honey (along with turbinado sugar, avocado, olive oil, salts, drops of vanilla, etc..)
138. viktor benes pastries
139. homemade nutella
140. random thought: the idea of nutella pizza (think max brenner)
141. pizza in general (margherita, white, pesto, etc.. or any pizza with a shit ton of cheeses, garlic, pesto, maybe some aioli, olive oil, basil, artichoke..balls!!!!)
142. the fact that balls could be mistaken as an ingredient in my dream pizza. nope
143. hating on lana del ray when in reality she's alright 
144. the way bolded exclamation marks look in georgia
145. indian food (though i have made a pact with myself that i will not have any until i go to berkeley)
146. flying lotus
147. telling myself that i'm going to get in shape, and then subsequently binging on a super size bag of doritos
148. water + lemon
149. the existence of washington state. how i wish southern california's great outdoors were nearly as great as that of the olympics/the rainforest
150. does anyone wanna be cute and tandem bike across the country with me? nah let's be real, just check this out.
151. ahem.. i think i've written no. 145 several times throughout the course of these lists/gifts. to indian food! and my face when i see/smell/eat indian food
152. billy preston. you are my man
153. being so awkward that i've virtually become immune to awkward situations (not really.. but that's how i picture it)
154. the emotionless stanford student on jeopardy last night (and the william & mary student who initially dominated) (but not the asian chick from north texas who basically admitted that she stalks alex trebek)
155. bass, and lots of it
156. old scrapbooks my mom made throughout the 90s
157. genmaicha
158. the notion of possibly having two jobs on top of classes (thankfully i'm only taking three)
159. not giving a fuck about probably graduating after everyone else.. and then realizing i might not even have to not give a fuck in the first place! can i get a fuck yeah?
160. i still get calendar/email/phone notifications on a daily basis to remind me to go to classes (religion, english, politics, digital humanities - at UPS) since i programmed them in all my gadgets back in november. i thought they'd make me sad, and sometimes they make me think "i could be learning english from a badass indian chick!" and "i could be discussing kandinsky with my peers!" but i rarely ever really dwell on it. i'll get rid of the notifications soon
161. whenever it looks cold outside, i still think it's going to be freezing as all fuck (as in 30 degrees F). so imagine my surprise (at an almost day-to-day basis lately) when i step outside and it's way warmer than expected! (side note: i've been well-accustomed to california weather ever since december now, but i think the cold in tacoma "traumatized" me in that respect.. bear with me here; i realize this makes little to no sense)
162. rambling. clearly i do it well. fin

no. 80

today i saw my shrink, bought a taco with the last $1.07 i had, snarfed that shit good, made mixtapes all day, applied for two more jobs, drank my weight in water, and left my room a mess. and now something in the kitchen sounds delicious. and my mom bought an avocado for me today.

123. THIS =)
124. midnight in paris ost
125. eating arizona tea and doritos for breakfast for the sake of good health (evidently on my way to modeldom)
126. being super american and applying for jobs at virtually every shop in the mall
127. yellow lights (they make me smile)
128. good style
129. remembering things that you haven't thought of in months
130. laughing hysterically/genuinely at something that once stressed you out
131. eating and yelping; discovering five-star reviews of cool places on yelp

no. 79

i'm a big bundle of appetite and laziness called unemployment. my progress thus far: i've applied to starbucks, frapys (a froyo shop in mission viejo), nordstrom (for the fuck of it), and a tech company called cimplebox.

107. foodgawker, epicurious, punchfork
108. chapstick-hoarding
109. my slightly fucked up (in the most beautiful way) calendar notebook (aka 'notes from a ucla chemistry lecture'
110. naps
111. lemon bars
112. faturdays
113. the still portrait of a mad orgasm between sheets/blankets/pillows that is my bed
114. braids
115. spices
116. free samples
117. rollercoasters
118. being ridiculously happy while eating indian food, and getting progressively crankier/sleepier afterwards
119. espresso con panna (eat it up)
120. playlists
121. dropboxing everything, and getting everything from dropbox
122. nigel thornberry videos

no. 78

100. cooking (smoked gouda + avocado + french baguette (it was hot out of the oven when i picked it up this morning!) + chicken marinated in garlic/black pepper/salt/sesame seeds/a bit of olive oil.
101. the clock ticking rapidly when food network's on
102. hating on technology, being fascinated by technology, etc.
103. all the jeeps and trucks parked on my street right now (superbowl sunday, about which i know nothing)
104. applying for jobs, writing cheesy cover letters that remind me of my work in high school
105. salk institute
106. doing

no. 77

back from a restful/enlightening/weird/bro-tastic/architecture-infested thirsty thursday/friday at usc. i'm really sleepy, but i was having separation anxiety from blogging so i had to throw in a post before i hit the sack and sleep for the next five years or so.

krista's friends are crazy. they're not only academically gifted; they know all the places to go/eat in dtla, they're culinarily brilliant, they're hilarious, they've got great taste in art/music, they don't metaphorically masturbate for hours on end over the sight of a nice car, they're the chillest, and they're just really fun to be around. and they join me in making satire of the typical usc student (rich, white, good-looking, never fails to post statuses/pictures of their particular sorority/frat/club/football game/matt barkley sighting/etc.) which is always fun.

82. lofts
83. feeling gross after a night of imbibing, and realizing that that gross feeling makes you feel like such a teenager (here's to our youth)
84. usc's greek row. i parked my car in front of fiji, and every single frat house front lawn was filled with frat guys playing beer pong.. at two in the afternoon. hilarious
85. usc's greek row (sorority aspect).. think of the typical, cliched sorority girl.. now think of an entire street filled with that. people are the best
86. french fries and dipping sauces (curry ketchup, pesto mayo, etc.) from wurstkuche. also wurstkuche's atmosphere in general
87. the bittersweet feeling of coming back home (i might get bored in the near future when i see the 'san clemente' sign on the freeway, but for now it's a signal of winding down, resting soon)
88. when i parallel park well (even if i kick someone out of the car to guide me)
89. food
90. brie cheese, toasted on a french baguette
91. french macarons
92. watching tv on the laptop while lazying about in bed
93. hilarity
94. traffic. now, before you call me insane, just bear with me here: yes, it took me an hour to pass through irvine on thursday evening and it took me a total of two hours to get to LA, but it was kind of endearing to see everyone together, doing their own thing. everyone remembered to turn their headlights on, people would weave around, people let others pass in front, one person cut me off and it made me giggle, some people in odysseys had movies playing in the back seat (open season sucks), etc. plus when you get traffic around LA on the freeway, chances are you're going to have a pretty nice view of the los angeles skyline/skyscrapers, and it reminds you how beautiful things are when it seems like it sucks. just look around, i guess. i don't know
95. drunk people who won't shutup. drunk people who will respectfully rant about a beautiful girl they admire from afar (even if it's a "gorgeous gorgeous gorge beautiful brunette first year pi phi" said wistfully in a native chicago accent)
96. creeping hard
97. white
98. food network and hating on ina garden yet admiring her soothing voice
99. being cheesy and stopping at number 99 so that tomorrow will start with 100

no. 76

i don't mind this seemingly everlasting cat hype. this cat is awesome

tonight i am going to hang out with elizabeth (and krista and krista's cool usc crew with whom i'm unhealthily infatuated) before she goes back to mit on sunday. i've been to usc more than i've been to saddleback this year, so far. it's a dirty, blonde, affluent, sketchy, magical place.

60. surprising people for the better
61. cat pictures.. but really, i'm much more of a 'dog person'
62. cold pizza (62.5: cold pizza with ranch)
63. re-heating frozen pizza in the conventional oven (so it's super crispy/toasty)
64. applying to jobs online (three cheers for the interwebz!!)
65. talking about facebook going public/facebook's IPO/etc. as if i know a damn thing about it
66. cracking my back as much as i can (my roommate used to crack it for me all the time *misses rachel*)
67. spas (can you feel me transforming into a blonde, big-boobs and orange-skin orange county chick slowly but surely?)
68. my new therapist (who isn't as awkwardly silent as my last)
69. the number 69, even if it's odd
70. 'even if it's odd' is my new favorite phrase
71. the odd cleavage that saddleback faculty gave the online advisor cartoon lady
72. enriched flour, sugar, vegetable shortening, cocoa, caramel color, and less than 2% of high fructose corn syrup, salt, baking soda, soy lecithin, natural and artificial flavor, peppermint oil.. aka the shit in thin mints
73. being friends with my friends
74. th!r$ty thur$d@y (i say that as a joke.. but i am going to usc tonight so who knows)
75. the idea of hookah, though i've never smoked it
76. that one friend who will let his car stop in the middle of the freeway on-ramp in order to obtain specifically 76 gasoline
77. "open racism"
78. THIS =)
79. sending parcels to lovers in washington
81. acai bowls

no. 75 1/2

that is a happy little black girl illustrating girl scouts' diversity. and those are my eyes creepily peering into your soul

turns out i have way more to be thankful for today.

53. i'm extremely introverted, so it's no surprise that i would go to great lengths to avoid human contact. exhibit a: so as not to awkwardly pretend i'm good with kids, i googled methods of obtaining girl scout cookies (i hate to be a part of the obnoxious hype...but thin mints and samoas are too good) online. and i found an order form and everything! but my friend told me that he had tried online ordering last year, but to no avail. damn girl scouts. much to my good fortune my mom picked up a box of thin mints on her way home (the girl scouts of this suburban wasteland were staking out right in front of our community's gates)
54. i had pizza for dinner. and i haven't had pizza in forever. today was really unhealthy foodwise, but i guess admitting unhealthiness is a step in the direction of better health? probably just another pseudo rationalization of mine. who cares, the pizza was delicious
55. going to usc again this week #thirdtimesthecharm
56. further utilizing social networking sites (tumblr/twitter/yelp/pinterest)
57. learning my lesson the easy way, aka not getting a ticket for forgetting to buy a parking pass/permit
58. things are getting so crazy in here
59. wondering how i'll feel about listening to 'party rock anthem' in 2025, assuming that i'll still be alive then

no. 75

her morning elegance, oren lavie.

in sophomore year i was straight obsessed with oren lavie and this music video. it's still my all-time favorite mv because it's clean (the white sheets, the light wooden floor), creative, and it just makes me smile in a slow and creepy way. 

today i went on a run/walk sort of thing with india (whenever one of us needed to bitch we'd walk, so we're basically a couple of hybrid cars) in the trails of suburbia, i swam (it's official. 10am-11am is absolutely empty, thank you breadmakin' dads, busy soccer moms, and children in schools! also thank you nannies and toddlers who opt for the playground instead of the pool during this window), and i picked up jeremy from school which was the most hilarious and ridiculous part of the day. the insane conglomerate of parents picking up underclassmen and juniors/seniors trying to leave the lot is the rough equivalent of really twisted/failed/unconventional sex positions (let's try moving this way oh wait that'll make me run into you hm let's try positioning our wheels that way oh that's going to mean our cars will collide, etc). i guess that's what happens when you put a ton of orange county people too close together. 

42. the prius's shift knob, which reminds me of something maybe just a tad too inappropriate for blogger
43. mrs. dalloway
44. community, donald glover/childish gambino
45. staple apparel (denim, crisp white tees, brown shoes, etc.)
46. REI garage sales (i don't know if they even do those in orange county, but i'm still grateful for them!)
47. jeremy gave me a copy of the high school newspaper's most recent issue. naturally, i went straight to the entertainment section (after silently giving the new title font some harsh judgment and criticism) to see how it was doing. i'm proud to say that i left my section in good hands (aka a redhead junior named melissa). i was also happy to see that the unprecedented "upcoming shows/films/albums" columns i had started last year was still running in the section (i realize that this isn't a huge deal; columns are just a solid way to fill up space. sometimes i was too lazy to watch a shitty show and write about it, and thus the upcoming arts columns were born). nevertheless i was glad to see that i started something, no matter how insignificant.
48. brc burrito from el pollo loco. speaking of, i think that el pollo loco is the first place in san clemente where i cried in public (august 2011 booyah)
49. $20 running shoes from marshalls (marshall's?)
50. job hunting, especially when current employers are fun/easy to talk to
51. even numbers (~:~*iRoNy*~:~)
52. cal. berkeley here i come!!!