8/1, no. 9

today is the first day of August.

it is the 213th day of the year. after today, there are 152 days remaining until the end of 2011. on this day in 1944, the Warsaw Uprising broke out against the Nazi occupation in Poland. it is today's date, in 1981, that the now immensely popular MTV began its first broadcast in the US with a music video by the Buggles. French fashion designer Yves Saint Laurent was born on this day in 1936. Roman politician Mark Antony died on today's date, 30 BC.
but, for all intents and purposes, the aforementioned facts are irrelevant to this day in the context of my life. I was not dreading this day because I have some strange vendetta against Y.S. Laurent or Mark Antony or MTV (...maybe MTV, but that's besides the point). A constant development of apprehension grew on me for a very long time because this day is the first day of a rapidly moving time frame between life at home with those I love and life up north with little knowledge of anything.

it's going to be life as the new kid again. granted, everyone will be the new kid, but there's a pretty prevalent bond already established amongst the majority of the UPS class of '15, evident by nonstop chatting on Facebook. I already feel left out. I've only recently felt completely at home and comfortable in my little nest, and now I have to leave. so many times have I criticized the town in which I live, harshly labeling it as a quintessential representation of stereotypical and superficial Orange County, condemning it for its fishbowl-like features, denouncing it for being nothing more but a suburban wasteland. but, like the corny Shark Tale protagonist Oscar says, "you don't know what you have till it's gone" - only now am I starting to realize the beauty of it. the beauty of the calm, of the acres and acres of nature and sand and ocean, the freedom of being young and alive, the carelessness and the oblivion that the world will soon enough rest on our shoulders, the ones closest to me - a country, a season, a harbor, a Hindi term for "blessing"...we've got it all right now, and it's fleeting. it's not something I'm complaining about, it's just another aspect of life everyone goes through. it's just ultimately nostalgic and admirable in the long run. I'll miss it.