8/20, no. 19

it's sort of unfortunate, really: I spent three years dreaming of a better life elsewhere, and by the time I finally get that better life at home, I've already sold my soul to the devil (metaphorically, that is; I already commit to an out-of-state school).

I hate being so conflicting - outside, I display optimism: "Puget Sound was my first choice, too!" "I love the area so much, and I'm so excited for this year!" but inside, I am cynical, and it seems as though I can only see what could be better - grammatical errors in the president's speech, flaws in organization of the orientation schedule, etc.

I have declared not only my major, but my plan: I did not come here to have fun; I merely attended this school because it was the most practical and financially efficient option, and I will use this option as a stepping stone for a better place, a better education.

I'm in the initial week of awkwardness, of meeting people, and it's a little excruciating to go through. I keep telling myself, "This, too, shall pass" but I'm not excited for the aftermath of settling in and meeting people either.

thankfully, my roommate, Rachel, isn't a huge social butterfly. she's socially calm and quieter, like me. we spend what little free time we have reading or going on the computer to finish some academic business (transcripts, etc). but she isn't antisocial, either - we both go out together for all the activities available for us. my other friend, Hannah, lives a few floors up and we spent the majority of our first day together. her roommate Madeline also seems very cool, so I'm completely satisfied with the people with whom I am associating myself so far.