8/12, no. 14

so long, my honey

goodbye, my dear

there is seldom I love more than the chance to leave the fishbowl, bubble, and suburban wasteland of San Clemente, so you can imagine my excitement upon finalizing all the costs, reservations, modes of transporation, and hypothetical itinerary for a roadtrip up the Californian coast to San Francisco. to put it in perspective, an extreme but relatively accurate analogy would be to say that in San Clemente, I'm holding my breath - and I get fatigued from dehydration, stress, and just the monotony and boredom of so many limits all around me. when I leave San Clemente, I take huge breaths - I inhale the air to stay alive. and San Francisco is no different - the city really knows how to show you what it feels like to truly live. I'm in love with urban areas, and a popular rap song reflects a city's feeling with the words "these streets will make you feel brand new, these lights will inspire you."

and there's nothing like traveling with close friends to become closer with one another and closer with the city itself. the to and from routes feel shorter, and you are not limited to social restrictions. you can act like a fool while not feeling like a fool at all - it's something that makes you feel really free. it's a sweet whiff of independence, which gives you hope for the future.

but what goes up must come down - the drive home from San Francisco made me think of how reluctant I was to leave a city I'm relatively unfamiliar with. if I'm so reluctant to leave the bay area, I don't know how I'm going to deal with leaving those I love. the goodbyes have just begun, as have the fluctuating emotions I am left with. it doesn't make me want to stay in San Clemente - it makes me want to live with those I love and stay with them as long as possible. and that very notion has given me a closer understanding to the long-heard lyrics "home is whenever I'm with you."